Danny
Drinkwater says he is relieved his Chelsea nightmare is finally over after
admitting he wasted some of what could have been his best years as a
footballer.
The 32-year-old, who was a key figure in Leicester City's title-winning side
during the 2015/16 season, moved to Chelsea in 2017 for £35m, signing a
five-year contract at Stamford Bridge.
However, the move did not work out for Drinkwater, who was left on the
sidelines for much of his time at Chelsea and saw his career stall, making
just 23 appearances for the club, scoring just a single goal.
Those difficulties are now over for Drinkwater, who was released by Chelsea
this summer, and speaking exclusively to Sky Sports News, the former England
international is just pleased he can now look forward as he looks to get his
career back on track.
"I'm relieved, because it's clear it wasn't a situation that was good for me
or the club," Drinkwater replied, when asked about his Chelsea exit.
Drinkwater, Sarri clash on Deadline Day
Drinkwater's tumultuous time at Stamford Bridge was perhaps best typified by
an exchange with then Chelsea boss Maurizio Sarri at the 11th hour of the
2018 summer transfer window.
Speaking through an acting translator, and assistant manager, Gianfranco
Zola, Sarri somewhat unceremoniously told the midfielder he did not form
part of his plans, leaving Drinkwater with an hour to find a new club.
"It got to the last hour of the transfer window and [I] got pulled into the
office, not expected at all," Drinkwater explains. "'Don't think you're
going to be in our plans'. This is Sarri, being translated by Gianfranco.
And I was like 'what?'
"Sarri and I got on like a house on fire off the pitch. On the pitch, we
were like chalk and cheese. I was like - 'why are you telling me now? An
hour before the window closes? I need time'. He replied, 'No, no, we've got
clubs abroad you can look at…'
"My reaction was - 'No, I've got my young son. He is my priority'. So I
decided to stay until January."
When asked if he feels like he's wasted the best five years of his career,
Drinkwater added: "Yeah, it feels like 'what have you thrown those five
years away?'
"If you'd stayed at Leicester, if you didn't get injured and if the club
treated you differently. They're all ifs. It's frustrating, 100 per cent.
Don't think I'm still not burning about how it's gone. I still kick myself
for it. But on the other side, am I going to keep kicking myself, because I
can't change it.
"Can I help myself going forward? That's why I went on loan, why I went to
Aston Villa and Burnley on loan, which didn't work, and going to Turkey at
the age of 30 - I never thought I'd do that. It's also the reason I dropped
down to the Championship. I've been trying to do the right things. As I've
tried doing them, something's gone wrong."
'I was lost' - Drinkwater on mental health
struggles
In what was a difficult time for Drinkwater at Chelsea, the midfielder has
admitted he struggled with his mental health, especially when accusations of
an easy life and that he was happy to not play were thrown his way.
Was he happy 'living the life'? What was the reality? With his issues on the
pitch coupled with a number of issues off it, Drinkwater revealed he was
lost.
"That's not true," he said. "'Living the life' lasts about two weeks. You
figure out you're not involved in games, only training, so I could go out
with the lads, I'm single, it's great, I can do all this. I was loving it,
but in the background, there's always things that burn away.
"And as a person, if you're not open enough to speak to the right people, it
chews away at you. I didn't learn that until further down the line. I was
always like 'I'm a big strong bloke, I can deal with this'.
"I was [suffering with mental health issues in 2019]. Nan passed, grandad
passed, dad got diagnosed with Leukaemia, I lost my dog and was drink
driving, which is just not me. I made a big mistake. I was also fighting for
my son, which was going on constantly and takes its toll.
"I think when someone has too much to juggle, it can hit you. And it did hit
me. And I was like 'wow', is this what it's come to? And I was lost."
He added: "When football is going well, everything else seems easier to deal
with, but when this isn't going so well, everything seems so heavy. I
definitely think that's the lowest I'd been."
When asked if he received help, he said: "I didn't think I was depressed,
but I saw the sports psychologist and if I hadn't, I definitely think it
could've gone that way because I was just fighting and fighting, and it
wasn't helping anybody."
Drinkwater focusing on the future
Despite the problems faced by Drinkwater following his Chelsea exit, he can
now start to look to the future.
The midfielder spent last season in the Sky Bet Championship with Reading
where he played 32 games, and it was a loan spell that helped Drinkwater
regain his confidence and start to enjoy his football again.
"I joined Reading, and I expected to be flying after eight games, but after
20 games, I was like - what's happening here? I still didn't feel properly
fit and I can't get my sharpness. I felt like I wasn't really benefitting
the team…and I was like 'Wow, has it gone? What's happened?'.
"Then you get a feeling back. The last part of last season, it was good. A
new gaffer came in, and it was good. He helped me, and I felt I was helping
the team. That's probably the first time I'd enjoyed football for years."
What about next season? Where will Drinkwater be playing his football?
"There are a few offers flying about," he said. "It's a weird time for
football, especially when you're free to the market.
"That last season helped me massively, getting all those games under my
belt, and hopefully the second half of the season showed I've still got the
ability and hunger to push myself.
"There are options, it's just about the decision. I love winning, so it's a
difficult thing to let go at this age."
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